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Post by jayseek on May 21, 2017 1:28:37 GMT
Heartfelt thanks, Nick the Greek, for Ticket to Ride. Firrst bit of music I've actually felt in this After. Thurs. I was unreachable, didn't hear till 8 pm--then drove off the road when I heard 'suicide'. Gutted. Day 2, as more 'details' emerged, just zombie sick. Day 3, I think I've been on tenterhooks, waiting for the 'details' to be refuted as suddenly as we were crushed with them. Can't stop crying, or turn to the music I love most. But that song--right now--can't even say what it means. And I don't much LIKE Ticket to Ride! If I had never heard Chris Cornell sing before I would still be changed for hearing this, even just once. My prayers go out to everyone with holes in their hearts. I have this overwhelming urge to do something, anything to protect everyone who cares from the people who don't picking over his bones. This man gave me quite a lot. And I owe him, always will. Thanks to anyone for understanding any part of how bottomlessly awful this feels. Peace.
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Post by The Sound (Admin) on May 21, 2017 5:06:25 GMT
Ferry Boat #3 - Chris Cornell (Singles Soundtrack Deluxe) I know this was written a long time ago but.... "Help me I don't know what I'm doing..."
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Post by The Sound (Admin) on May 21, 2017 10:43:45 GMT
Ferry Boat #3 - Chris Cornell (Singles Soundtrack Deluxe) I know this was written a long time ago but.... "Help me I don't know what I'm doing..." I have listened a couple times and written down the lyrics best I can. I'm still waiting on the album but I doubt the lyrics will be in the liner notes. Some of the lyrics overlap with Audioslave’s The Curse. I'm not certain on some bits, can anyone help work it out? You may want to listen to it first before reading my interpretation of the lyrics though. In particular I'm uncertain about the following... ? til hope is gone ? (or ? til its all gone ?)…. you won't see me killing time and what comes after "don’t blame your dreams......." ? or they'll leave you the cost ? (? or they'll leave you all lost ?) Also it sounds like "and if I'm blind, I save you all" but not sure if that fits. Lyrics for Audiosalve's The Curse are "And if I'm blind, I will lead you on" but it definitely doesn't sound like that to me in Ferry Boat.
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Post by jayseek on May 21, 2017 12:53:03 GMT
Sounds like:
and if I'm blind, I save you all;
'til hope is gone;
don't blame your dreams or they'll leave you all the cost.
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Post by Sollozzo on May 21, 2017 13:15:39 GMT
No more Soundgarden shows....No more Soundgarden songs....no Audioslave reunions....no solo stuff...nothing...Its a nightmare.This just aint right. He wasnt supposed to die. He was supposed to be around being the man for the next 25 years. I cant believe this is even happening and im actually typing about this... That so perfectly sums things up. He wasn't supposed to die this soon. It feels wrong talking about him in the past tense.
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Post by jayseek on May 21, 2017 17:53:55 GMT
I feel a little comfort that there may be an alternate explanation other than intentional suicide. But, can 1 or 2 pills really change someone so profoundly? It sounds like he's been taking it for awhile. I feel so bad for Vicky having to insist Chris was dedicated to them. We all know he truly was. For what it's worth...
I'm a chronic insomniac. A doctor would likely give me anything I want for insomnia.
Years back, I tried Ambien. A half dose, very briefly. Red flag #1, I woke up to a trashed kitchen--multiple burners on the stove, oven, etc.--with no recollection of getting up. Let alone making fettuccini. Last red flag, I woke up on my front porch in my PJs with car keys in my hand; I had to go touch the car to be sure I hadn't driven it.
A few years later, my (very excellent) PCP was leaving his medical practice. His parting advice: "don't EVER, EVER let a doctor put you on anything in the benzo family. Given your background (alcoholism on both sides, Seasonal Affective Disorder) you need to avoid anything addictive, especially that addictive. Also, for anyone prone to walking sleep, those drugs would make your Ambien misadventure look like a cakewalk..."
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Post by She Likes Surprises on May 21, 2017 19:19:58 GMT
How do these drugs even get approval??? FDA is worthless.
Sounds like this may have been accidental then... WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF A BEAUTIFUL LIFE!
Neither accidental nor intentional gives me any comfort.
Please, someone turn back time. 😟
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Post by She Likes Surprises on May 21, 2017 21:17:53 GMT
I am having a very bad time with this. This is all so surreal. I keep trying to make sense out of all this and I CAN'T.
Oh, Chris 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Post by downtemple on May 22, 2017 0:00:13 GMT
Mind altering substances are all so dangerous, but these dam prescription meds just might be the worse of them all. this is heinous. jayseek: thank you for the candor and insights. my best to you. Mega tributes all over the net today. Most eh, some moving. Living Colour's was good. As was Candlebox's. Aerosmith. But Josh Klinghoffer from RHCP laid out the best ones. Never had even heard of him. I thought Frusiante was back with them. I managed to get through both, cuz I guess it wasn't Chris up there singing. That doesn't mean the tears shed again. Ugh. Nice kneel down by Kiedis at the end
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Post by downtemple on May 22, 2017 0:22:01 GMT
this might be from last year, but the sentiment
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exene
Strong Knight
9/06/1992, 5/25/2013
Posts: 31
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Post by exene on May 22, 2017 0:41:50 GMT
I was addicted to a benzodiazepine, it was alprazolam (Xanax) and it dragged me through hell. I quit cold turkey and made it out, but I was lucky.
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Post by She Likes Surprises on May 22, 2017 0:52:33 GMT
I am grateful for everyone sharing their personal experiences, too. It has really helped add perspective to these type of drugs.
It makes me think that this was entirely possible that it was accidental. (I keep going back and forth though.)
I hope the toxicology report provides more answers.
Sigh...
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exene
Strong Knight
9/06/1992, 5/25/2013
Posts: 31
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Post by exene on May 22, 2017 13:22:10 GMT
I've taken Ativan before, it knocked me sideways. 8hrs of fuzzy memory, like Xanax but stronger.
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Post by vikko98 on May 22, 2017 15:45:27 GMT
I used to take anti-depressants in my early twenties for a couple of years, I also had something that's called Sobril in Sweden which is a member of the benzo-family. It helped me to take the edge of panic and anxiety attacks but I only used them when I really needed to. But I had one bad friend who took them daily for many many years while swallowing them down with alcohol. He even got his girlfriend to call me when he was out just because he knew I had them. I was kind once but then I just felt that I didn't want to contribute to his addiction. He died a couple of years back from liver failure 31-32 years old. After the years with the pills I got really anti pills overall and I still try to avoid meds as much as I can. Even pain killers.
My dad took Xanax for like 30+ years and he also likes to drink. Since I moved from home 17 years back his mood swings and personality just got worse and worse. He used called me when he was drunk and it was kinda hard to speak to him without getting really pissed off. It all took a wide turn a couple of years back when he had been too much of an asshole to his girlfriend who walked out on him, a couple of minutes later he called me to say good bye. Of course I got pissed off telling him hell no and threatened to call the police if he was going through with it. Got into the car, drove 50 miles, put bandages on his cut up arms, and during that night he insulted me twice. A huge part of me just wanted to leave him then and there and never look back.
Those drugs ate away his brain for all that time, it was so bad that he couldn't keep focused on a conversation even when he was sober from alcohol. But now I'm kinda proud of him cause something really happened that night and he realized that he couldn't live that way anymore. So novadays he's totally off the drugs but still drinks a little, which I don't really approve of but at least he knows that I don't want to speak to him when he does. His grandchildren have of course helped him to stay focused but he's like a much better version of himself and he really makes an effort to be his best. I still haven't forgiven him for that night and what he put me and my brother through and I don't think I ever will. But as I said, he has really struggled with this and I'm proud.
The worst part of it all is that the reason why he got prescribed Xanax in first place didn't get reduced at all. He's got some kind of social anxiety, of which some part I got too, but the drugs didn't help him at all. So he ate that crap for more than 30 years in fucking vain.
Now with the modern anti-depressants there's really no reason to prescribe benzo anymore. Drugs just keep things piling up under the rug, never solve problems.
For som reason I'm compelled to share this joke/moral cake wich I got from my english teacher when I was a depressed 14 year old...
The Frozen Bird
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was, the dung was thawing it out.
It lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing out of joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug it out and ate it.
Morals of the story:
The one who shits on you isn't necessarily your enemy.
The one who gets you out of shit isn't necessarily your friend.
And if you're happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut...
It didn't make as much sense to me then that it does now. Complaining without being ready to do something about doesn't help anyone...
/Niklas
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Post by nickthegreek on May 22, 2017 23:27:52 GMT
Nikklas....Sorry to hear about you having to go through that. Good to hear your pops is doing alright now.
...............
The thing about this whole ordeal that is so fucked up is, he couldve taken his life without knowing what he was doing. You hear "car accident" or "illness"..or pretty much anything and as messed up as it is, you figure those things happen. But to kill yourself while youre in a state when you dont know what youre doing, if that is the case, its just ...its just fucked up. There's no other way to say it. I came across this video and the beginning he's talking about how is father in law seemed stern at his engagement party and then jokingly said he might have to be that stern guy himself when the time comes that he's at his daughters engagement party.....and he seems happy, and like such a genuinely good dude...seems like the future is bright.....and for this to be the outcome..It's heartbreaking ..It's just not right. He should be alive.
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